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Mackall 
Scrambled  Eggs 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


SCRAMBLED 
EGGS 

BY 
L \\VTOX  MACKALL 

AND 

FRANCIS    R.    BELLAMY 


STEWART  KIDD 

MODERN  PLAYS 


EDITED  BY 
FRANK  SHAY 


Stewart  Kidd  Dramatic  Anthologies 

Fifty  Contemporary  One-Act  Plays 

Edited  by 
FRANK  SHAY  and  PIERRE  LOVING 

--pHlS  volume  contains  FIFTY  REPRESENTATIVE  ONE-ACT  PLAYS 

I    of  the  MODERN  THEATER,  chosen  from  the  dramatic  works  of  con- 

•*•  temporary  writers  all  over  the  world  and  is  the  second  volume  in  the 

Stewart  Kidd  Dramatic  Anthologies,  the  first  being  European  Theories  of  the 

Drama,  by  Barrett  H.  Clark,  which  has  been  so  enthusiastically  received. 

The  editors  have  scrupulously  sifted  countless  plays  and  have  selected  the 
best  available  in  English.  One-half  the  plays  have  never  before  been  pub 
lished  in  book  form;  thirty-one  are  no  longer  available  in  any  other  edition. 

The  work  satisfies  a  long-felt  want  for  a  handy  collection  of  the  choicest 
plays  produced  by  the  art  theaters  all  over  the  world.  It  is  a  complete  reper 
tory  for  a  little  theater,  a  volume  for  the  study  of  the  modem  drama,  a  rep 
resentative  collection  of  the  world's  best  short  plays. 

CONTENTS 


AUSTRIA 

Schnitzler   (Arthur) — Literature 
BELGIUM 

Maeterlinck    (Maurice)— The    Intruder 
BOLIVIA 

More  (Federico) — Interlude 
DENMARK 

Wied   (Gustave) — Autumn  Fire* 
FRANCE 

Ancey  (George) — M.  Lamblin 

Porto- Riche  (Georges)  —  Francoise's  Luck 
GERMANY 

Ettinger  (Karl)— Altruism 

von  Hofmannsthal  (Hugo)— Madonna  Di*- 
nora 

Wedekind  (Frank)— The  Tenor 
GREAT   BRITAIN 

Bennett    (Arnold)— A  Good  Woman 

Calderon  (George) — The  Little  Stone  Houae 

Cannan  (Gilbert)— Mary's  Wedding 

Dowson  (Ernest) — The  Pierrot  of  the  Min 
ute. 

Ellis    (Mrs.    Havclock)— The    Subjection 
of  Kezia 

Hankin  (St.  John)— The  Constant  Lover 
INDIA 

Mukerji  (Dhan  Gopal)— The  Judgment  of 

Indra 
IRELAND 

Gregory    (Lady)— The   Workhouse  Ward 
HOLLAND 

Speenhoff  (J-  H.)— Louise 
HUNGARY 

Biro   (Lajos) — The  Grandmother 
ITALY 

Giocosa  (Giuseppe)— The  Rights  of  the  Soul 
RUSSIA 

Andreyev  (Leonid) — Love  of  One's  Neigh 
bor 

Tchekoff  (Anton) — The  Boor 


SPAIN 

Benavente   (Jacinto)— His  Widow's  Hus 
band  , 
Quintero  (Serafin  and  Joaqnln  Alvarez-) 

— A  Sunny  Morning 
SWEDEN 

Strindberg  (August) — The  Creditor 
UNITED  STATES 

Beach  (Lewia) — Brothers 
Cowan  (Sada) — In  the  Morgue 
Crocker  (Bosworth) — The  Baby  Carriage 
Cronyn  (George  W.)— A  Death  in  Fever 

Flat 
Davies  (Mary  Carolyn) — The  Slave  with 

Two  Faces 

Day  (Frederick  L.)— The  Slump 
Planner  (Hildegard) — Mansions 
Glaspell   (Susan)— Trifles 
Gerstenberg   (Alice) — The  Pot  Boiler 
Helburn  (Theresa) — Enter  the  Hero 
Hudson  (Holland) — The  Shepherd  in  the 

Distance 

Kemp  (Harry) — Boccaccio's  Untold  Tale 
Langner    (Lawrence) — Another   Way  Out 
MacMillan   (Mary)— The  Shadowed  Star 
Millay  (Edna  St.  Vincent)— Aria  da  Capo 
Moeller    (Philip)— Helena's  Husband 
O'Neill  (Eugene)— He 
Stevens    (Thomas   Wood)— The   Nursery 

Maid  of  Heaven 
Stevens  (Wallace)— Three  Travelers  Watch 

a  Sunrise 

Tompkins  (Frank  G.) — Sham 
Walker  (Stuart)— The  Medicine  Show 
Wellman  (Rita)— For  All  Time 
Wilde  (Percival)— The  Finger  of  God 
YIDDISH 

Asch  (Sholom)— Night 

Pinski  (David)— Forgotten  Soul* 


Large  8vo,  $8$  pages.    Net,  $5.00 


Send  for  Complete  Dramatic  Catalogue 

STEWART   KIDD   COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS,  -  CINCINNATI,  U.  S.  A. 


STEWART  KIDD  MODERN  PLAYS 
Edited  by  Frank  Shay 


SCRAMBLED  EGGS 


Stewart  Kidd  Modern  Plays 
Edited  by  FRANK  SHAY 

To  meet  the  immensely  increased  demands  of  the  play-reading  public 
and  those  interested  in  the  modem  drama,  Stewart  Kidd  are  issuing 
under  the  general  editorship  of  Frank  Shay  a  series  of  plays  from  the  pens 
of  the  world's  best  contemporary  writers.  No  effort  is  being  spared  to 
secure  the  best  work  available,  and  the  plays  are  issued  in  a  form  that  is 
at  once  attractive  to  readers  and  suited  to  the  needs  of  the  performer 
and  producer.  Buff  ah  Express:  "Each  play  is  of  merit.  Each  is  unlike 
the  other.  The  group  furnishes  a  striking  example  [of  the  realistic  trend 
of  the  modern  drama." 

From  time  to  time  special  announcements  will  be  printed  giving  com 
plete  lists  of  the  plays. 

SHAM,  a  Social  Satire  in  One  Act.     By  Frank  G.  Tompkins. 
Originally  produced  by  Sam  Hume,  at  the  Arts  and  Crafts  Theatre, 

Detroit. 

San  Francisco  Bulletin :     "The  lines  are  new  and  many  of  them 
are  decidedly  clever." 
Providence  Journal :    "An  ingenious  and  merry  little  one-act  play." 

THE  SHEPHERD  IN  THE  DISTANCE,  a  Pantomime  in 
One  Act.     By  Holland  Hudson. 
Originally  produced  by  the  Washington  Square" Players. 
Oakland  Tribune:    "A  pleasing  pantomime  of  the  Ancient  East." 

MANSIONS,  a  Play  in  One  Act.      By  Hildegarde  Planner. 
Originally  produced  by  the  Indiana  Little  Theatre  Society. 
Three  Arts  Magazine :    "This  thoughtful  and  well-written  play  of 
Characters  and  Ideals  has  become  a  favorite  with  Little  Theatres 
and  is  now  available  in  print." 

HEARTS  TO  MEND,  a  Fantasy  in  One  Act. 

By  H.  A.  Over  street. 

Originally  produced  by  the  Fireside  Players,  White  Plains,  N.  Y. 
St.  Louis  Star :    "It  is  a  light  whimsy  and  well  carried  out." 
San  Francisco  Chronicle:      "No  one  is  likely  to  hear  or   read  it 
without  real  and  legitimate  pleasure." 

SIX  WHO  PASS  WHILE  THE  LENTILS  BOIL. 

By  Stuart  Walker. 
Originally  produced  by  the  Portmanteau  Players  at  Christodora 

House,  New  York  City. 

Brooklyn  Eagle :    "Literary  without  being  pedantic,  and  dramatic 
without  being  noisy." 

OTHERS  TO  FOLLOW.    Bound  in  Art  Paper.    Each,  net,  .50 


A   Barnyard  Fantasy 


By 
LAWTON  MACKALL 

and 

FRANCIS  R.  BELLAMY 


CINCINNATI 

STEWART  KIDD  COMPANY 
PUBLISHERS 


COPYRIGHT.  1922 

By  LAWTON  MACKALL 


All  Rights  Reserved 


The  professional  and  amateur  stage  rights  in  this  play  are  strictly 
reserved.    Application  for  permission  to  produce  SCRAMBLED 
EGGS  should  be  made  to  Lawton  Mackall,  in  care  of  the  pub 
lishers,  Stewart  Kidd  Company.  Cincinnati.  Ohio 


Printed  in  the  United  States  of  America 
TH»  CAXTON  PRESS 


PERSONS  OF  THE  PLAY 

CLARENCE,  a  rooster 
MARTHA,  his  wife 
EUSTACE,  a  drake 
GERTRUDE,  his  wife 
PHYLLIS,  a  fair  stranger  duck 
CHICKENS,  TURKEYS,  GANDERS, 
PIGEONS    AND   OTHER   INHABIT 
ANTS  OF  THE  BARNYARD 

The  costumes  suggest,  in  an  inexpensive 
manner,  comic  ducks  and  chickens,  rather 
than  literally  feathered  fowl. 


1109224 


SCRAMBLED  EGGS 


SCENE:  A  BARNYARD. 

On  the  right  can  be  seen  a  small  chickencoop. 
On  the  lefty  almost  hidden  by  huge  burdock 
leaves,  is  a  duck's  nest.  The  whole  scene  is 
drawn  to  scale  to  represent  the  way  a  barnyard 
would  appear  to  a  chicken.  In  the  center  is  a 
fairly  good-sized  gray  rock.  Water  troughs,  tin 
cans,  a  cracker  box,  with  large  signpost  and  sign 
complete  the  list  of  accessories.  When  the  curtain 
goes  up  the  stage  is  empty.  Then  Eustace  ap 
pears,  dressed  in  spectacles  and  silk  hat  and 
carrying  a  huge  book  labeled  "Reform"  under  his 
wing,  and  dragging  behind  him  a  large  sign, 
which  he  solemnly  affixes  to  the  signpost,  whereupon 
it  is  seen  to  read,  "Better  Barnyards:  Dr.  Eustace, 
Originator  of  the  Purity  for  Poultry  Movement, 
Will  Speak  Here  at  Sunset"  As  he  does  so  the 
head  of  a  chicken  appears  from  the  bars  of  the 
chickencoop  on  the  right  (Martha}  and  stares  at 
him  through  a  large  pair  of  lorgnettes.  Dr. 
Eustace,  unaware  of  this,  takes  out  a  large  halo 
from  his  pocket,  affixes  it  to  his  silk  hat,  opens  his 
book  and  assumes  the  attitude  of  an  orator. 

EUSTACE 

Fellow  denizens — 

MARTHA 

Eustace — 


SCRAMBLED  EGGS 


EUSTACE   (not  noticing  her  and  settling  his  halo 

more  firmly) 

Fellow  denizens — 
MARTHA  (letting  down  the  curtain  in  front  of  her 

coop  and  speaking  sharply) 

Eustace! 
EUSTACE  (pausing  and  hiding  his  halo  under  his 

wing) 

Ah!    A  neophyte,  no  doubt. 

MARTHA 

Your  wife  left  a  message  for  you. 
EUSTACE  (looking  in  the  direction  of  his  nest  and 
then  at  Martha) 
What,  has  she  gone? 

MARTHA 

Since  early  morning.     She  said  you  were  to  be 
sure  to  sit  on  the  eggs  until  she  comes  .back. 
EUSTACE  (with  ruffled  dignity) 
I?    I? 

MARTHA 

Well,  of  course,  you  aren't  my  husband.     My 
Clarence  believes  the  female's  place  is  on  the 
nest.    But  that's  what  your  wife  said. 
EUSTACE   (sadly  folding  his  book  and  putting  his 
halo  in  his  pocket) 
Alas!    No  reformer  should  have  a  family. 

(He  starts  for  his  nest  and  has  just  drawn  aside 
the  burdock  leaf  which  leads  to  it,  when  enters 
Clarence  gallantly  following  a  young  chicken. 
A  look  of  horror  overspreads  Eustace's  face  as  he 
sees  the  chicken  drop  a  feather  and  Clarence  pick 
it  up  and  rush  forward  to  give  it  to  her.) 


SCRAMBLED  EGGS 


EUSTACE  (coughing) 
Ahem! 

(The  chicken,  startled,  goes  out,  while  Clarence 
comes  forward  sulkily.} 

EUSTACE  (turning  away  sadly  from  the  burdock  leaf] 
Clarence,  there  are  some  things  which  I  fear 
you  and  I  will  never  regard  in  the  same  light. 
Aside  from  the  fact  that  you  are  married,  think 
of  your  position  in  the  community,  your  obliga 
tion  to  set  a  good  example  to  young  peepers. 
How  can  you  forget  such  things,  and  carry  on 
with  other  chickens  under  Martha's  very  beak? 

CLARENCE  (sulkily) 

Been  sitting  on  your  eggs? 
EUSTACE  (angrily) 
Certainly  not,  sir! 

CLARENCE 

Just  hesitating  on  them,  I  suppose. 
EUSTACE  (loftily) 

Clarence,  Gertrude  and  I  have  the  modern 
view.  The  single  standard  of  morality  and 
equal  division  of  responsibility. 

(Enter  second  chicken,  carelessly  from  right, 
giving  Clarence  inviting  glances.) 

CLARENCE  (aside) 

What  elegantly  slender  drumsticks! 

EUSTACE 

My  wife  has  her  responsibilities  and  I  have  mine. 
CLARENCE  (again  aside) 

What  irresistible  pin  feathers! 
9 


SCRAMBLED   EGGS 


EUSTACE 

Gertrude  is  Chairman  of  the  Committee  on 
Free  Puddles  for  the  Public.  She  is  raising  a 
fund  for  the  Laying-in  Hospital.  She  is  leader 
of  the  movement  for  Sex  Education  for  Duck 
lings  on  a  platform  of  More  Rain. 

CLARENCE 

What  a  walk! 

EUSTACE 

When  I  am  speaking  for  better  barnyards  then 
she  is  warming  our  eggs. 

CLARENCE 

Where  is  she  now,  then  ? 
EUSTACE  (stammering) 
Why,  I— I- 

(Clarence,  unable  to  stand  it  longer,  follows 
second  chicken,  who  is  now  about  to  go  off  left.} 

EUSTACE    (discovering  that  Clarence   is   no  longer 

beside   him,    and  that   he    is  following   second 

chicken,  horrified) 

Clarence ! 
CLARENCE  (turning  and  seeing  third  chicken,  come- 

lier  still,  entering  right) 

You're  right! 

(He  picks  up  the  third  chicken  and  goes  off  in  the 
opposite  direction  as  first  chicken  enters  wildly 
from  left,  looks  around  and  seeing  no  one  but 
Eustace   makes   for  him.     Whereupon    Eustace 
rushes  to  the  sign  and  clasps  it  to  his  bosom. 
She  pecks  at  him  but  he  clasps  the  sign  tighter, 
and  she  shrugs  her  wings  and  goes  off.) 
10 


SCRAMBLED  EGGS 


MARTHA  (her  head  appearing  again  from  coop} 

Has  anybody  here  seen  Clarence? 
EUSTACE  (aside} 

This  is  terrible.     (To  Martha]      Madam,  you 

have  my  profoundest  sympathy. 
MARTHA  (firing  up) 

What  impertinence! 
EUSTACE 

Ah,  madam!     If  only  it  were!     I  respect  your 

endeavors  to  shield  your  husband. 

MARTHA 

Shield  him!  The  best  husband  in  the  barn 
yard,  so  loving  to  me — every  time  I  see  him. 
With  all  your  guile,  you  hawk  in  dove's  clothing, 
YOU  will  never  be  able  to  alienate  my  affections 
from  him. 

(She  shuts  the  shutter  with  a  slam  as  Clarence  re- 
enters  from  right,  picking  colored  feathers  from 
his  wings  and  blowing  them  gaily  in  the  air.) 

EUSTACE 
How  can  you,  Clarence? 

CLARENCE 

It's  the  easiest  thing  in  the  world,  my  boy. 

EUSTACE 

And  to  think  that  before  I  began  my  labors, 
you  were  the  leader  of  the  barnyard — You! 
(He  swells  visibly  with  indignation.)  You,  you 
pullet  hound.  You  leering  libertine! 

CLARENCE  (strutting  with  pride) 
You  said  it. 

ii 


SCRAMBLED   EGGS 


EUSTACE 

And  you  have  no  shame.  You  glory  in  it. 
Four  years  old  and  what  have  you  done  for  the 
barnyard? 

CLARENCE 

You  have  no  delicacy,  Eustace. 

EUSTACE 

I  state  the  ugly  fact. 
CLARENCE  (complacently) 

Well,  old  topknot,  what's  your  egg  record? 
EUSTACE  (terribly] 

Egg  record! 

CLARENCE 

Well,  pardon  my  strutting,  but  a  fowl  who 
learns  from  his  wife  only  this  morning  that  six 
eggs — five  of  them  unprecedentedly  large — 
grace  his  nest,  may  be  excused  a  slight  crow! 

EUSTACE  (incredulously) 
Six  eggs? 

CLARENCE  (complacently) 
An  even  half-dozen. 

EUSTACE 
Incredible.    All  laid  this  morning? 

CLARENCE 

All  this  morning. 

EUSTACE 

I  never  heard  of  such  a  thing. 

CLARENCE 

There  are  lots  of  things  you  never  heard  of. 
EUSTACE 

What  a  responsibility!    Six  innocent,  unhatched 
chicks.    Does  not  the  mere  thought  stir  you  to 
emulate  my  noble  ideals? 
12 


SCRAMBLED   EGGS 


CLARENCE 

Your  noble  ideals?  Why,  I  wouldn't  trust  you 
with  a  wooden  decoy.  (As  fourth  chicken  enters 
from  right.)  Ahem! 

EUSTACE  (horrified) 
And  yet  another! 

CLARENCE  (consoling  him) 

Yes,  it's  hard.  I'd  rail  too  if  I  were  in  your  fix. 
Forty-nine  chickens  in  the  barnyard  and  only 
one  duckess.  I  don't  blame  you  for  your  single 
standard  stuff.  Necessity  makes  a  beautiful 
virtue. 

EUSTACE 

Necessity!  Necessity!  Sir,  if  there  were  a 
thousand  bewitching  waddlers  in  the  barn 
yard,  I  should  still  support  that  standard  there. 

CLARENCE  (as  he  starts  to  follow  the  fourth  chicken) 
Yes  you  would — not! 

MARTHA  (as  Clarence  and  fourth  chicken  get  to  edge 
of  stage) 
Oh,  Clarence! 

CLARENCE  (stopping  and  thinking  an  instant) 
An   important   business   engagement,   Martha. 
I  shall  be  back  later.    (He  goes  out.) 

EUSTACE  (looking  worriedly  at  the  standard) 
A  virtue  of  necessity!    Sinister  thought. 

MARTHA  (proudly) 

There's  ambition  for  you.    You  tortuous  worm. 

EUSTACE  (clasping  his  forehead) 
Worm.    Ah,  a  dirty  stroke. 

MARTHA  (as  she  turns  away  from  Eustace,  sees 
Clarence  re-entering^  still  stalking  the  fourth 
chicken.  Horrified) 

13 


SCRAMBLED   EGGS 


Ah !  {As  they  leave  she  rushes  out  of  her  coop  and 
stands  flapping  her  wings  after  them.)  Oh,  the 
speckled  hussy !  My  Clarence!  My  dishonored 
eggs!  (Weeping)  Oh,  I  beg  your  pardon, 
Eustace!  Forgive  me  my  harsh,  unhenly 
words.  The  things  you  told  me,  alas,  they  are 
only  too  true.  If  you  ever  were  a  friend  of 
mine  support  me  now.  (She faints  on  his  bosom.) 

(Enter  Gertrude  from  left.) 

GERTRUDE 

Eustace,  a  hen  upon  your  wishbone !    Martha, 
unwing  him  at  once. 
EUSTACE 
Quick,  bring  some  garlic,  some  smelling  roots. 

GERTRUDE 

Not  a  root  until  you  explain. 
EUSTACE  (holding  Martha  with  melancholy  gaze) 

Only  the  long  expected,  my  dear — Clarence — 
MARTHA  (wailing) 

Oh,  I  saw  him !    The  speckled  hen !     I  saw  him 

myself!    My  Clarence! 

(She  bursts  into  sobs  and  they  calm  her.) 

GERTRUDE  (striding  up  and  down  energetically) 

She  must  get  a  divorce  at  once. 
MARTHA  (coming  to) 

But  I  couldn't  live  without  Clarence,  the  only 

rooster  in  the  barnyard.     What  I  want  is  to 

have  him  all  to  myself! 

(Gertrude  flaps  her  wings  in  disgust  and  turns 
away.) 

14 


SCRAMBLED   EGGS 


EUSTACE 

Then  you  must  make  him  respect  you,  Martha. 
Make  him  feel  the  need  of  your  companionship. 
Share  all  his  interests.  {At  this  instant  Clarence 
comes  in  with  fourth  chicken  but  goes  hastily  out.) 
Go  where  he  goes,  do  what  he  does. 
MARTHA  (wiping  her  eyes) 

But  what  will  become  of  my  eggs  ? 

GERTRUDE 

You  must  share  them  fifty-fifty,  as  Eustace 
and  I  do. 

MARTHA 

Well,  I  shall  try  to  be  that  kind  of  wife.  It  will 
be  hard  at  first,  but  perhaps  I  shall  get  used 
to  it.  For  Clarence's  sake  I  shall  try.  (She 
goes  toward  her  coop  sadly ,  repeating  in  lower 
tones)  I  shall  try.  (As  she  closes  the  coop  and 
goes  in  her  voice  is  a  whisper)  I  shall  try. 

GERTRUDE  (a s  Martha  closes  the  coop) 

And  without  my  husband's  assistance.  (Turn 
ing  to  Eustace.)  Well,  and  how  long  have  you 
been  off  the  eggs  ? 

EUSTACE  (confused) 
Why,  I— I- 

GERTRUDE 

Don't  duck,  Eustace.  I  shall  take  their  temper 
ature. 

(She  takes  out  a  large  thermometer,  pulls  aside 
the  burdock  leaf  that  leads  to  the  nest  at  left, 
stares  an  instant,  and  then  gives  a  blood-curdling 
scream?) 

EUSTACE 
Great  seaweed!    What  has  happened? 

15 


SCRAMBLED   EGGS 


GERTRUDE    (wildly) 

Gone!  They  are  gone!   Gone!  Gone!  (Turning 
to  Eustace.)     What  have  you   done  with  our 
poor,  unhatched  children  ? 
EUSTACE 
Gone? 

GERTRUDE 

Vanished,  flown,  disappeared !  (Angrily)  While 
you  quack  empty  theories  before  their  neglected 
nest. 

EUSTACE  (firing  up) 

You  mean  while  you  agitate  Free  Puddles  for 
the  Public. 

GERTRUDE 

Better  than  holding  strange  hens  on  your 
wishbone. 

EUSTACE  (contemptuously) 

Or  investigating  the  Rabbit  Warren  Under 
world. 

GERTRUDE 

Rabbit  Warrens,  never!    Only  today  I  drafted 
final  plans  for  the  communal  incubator,  and 
appointed  nineteen  committees  to  O.  K.  them. 
EUSTACE  (derisively) 

Communal  incubator,  hah!  When  the  single 
standard  is  yet  to  be  settled  ?  (He  laughs.) 

GERTRUDE 

Laugh  if  you  will,  but  you  cannot  prevent  the 
onward  march  of  progress.  Perhaps  that  is 
where  your  eggs  have  gone,  at  this  minute! 
Perhaps  the  communal  incubator  is  a  fact 
already ! 

EUSTACE  (startled) 
What  makes  you  think  that? 
16 


SCRAMBLED  EGGS 


GERTRUDE 

Intuition,  you  stupid.     How  else  would  you 
expect  me  to  know  it?    Ah,  it  just  had  to  come! 
I  have  been  predicting  it  all  along. 
EUSTACE 

But  why  should  they  experiment  on  your  eggs? 

GERTRUDE 

Nonsense!    Think  what  it  will  mean  to  them! 
They  will  be  hatched  scientifically,  eugenically, 
their  personalities  allowed  to  expand,  and  when 
they  are  grown  up  they  will  be  free  females. 
They  will  enjoy  the  happiness  of  motherhood 
without  its  drudgery. 
EUSTACE 
If  there  is  a  communal  incubator. 

GERTRUDE 

If  there  is!    Come,  we  shall  find  it  now. 

(A s  they  go  out  at  left,  Gertrude  catches  sight  of 
Clarence  coming  in  at  right,  and  whispers  to 
Martha  in  the  coop.) 

GERTRUDE 

Now,  Martha,  here's  your  chance. 

CLARENCE 

Oh,  gosh,  what  a  blonde  pullet  she  was!     Oh 

gosh !    And  how  blonde !    (As  Martha  looks  out) 

Why  hello,  wifie  dear! 
MARTHA  (with  forced  pleasantness) 

Why,    how-do-you-do,   Clarence?      I   want   to 

have  a  talk  with  you. 
CLARENCE  (lifting  one  foot  in  surprise) 

Huh? 


SCRAMBLED  EGGS 


MARTHA 

I  have  been  thinking  things  over  very  seriously, 
and  from  now  on  I  intend  to  be  a  very  different 
kind  of  wife  to  you.  In  the  past  I  have  not 
shared  your  interests  as  I  should  have.  But 
in  future  I  shall  make  myself  your  companion 
in  everything. 

CLARENCE  (leaning  on  the  coop) 
Well,  I'll  be  plucked! 

MARTHA 

I  shall  be  always  at  your  side.    Where  you  go, 

will  I  go! 
CLARENCE  (angrily  aside) 

This  is  Eustace's  work.    (To  his  intense  surprise , 

a  duckling  comes  from  under  his  coop.)      What, 

a  duckling  from  my  coop!      (He  staggers  back 

in  astonishment.) 
MARTHA  (as  he  does  so) 

Wait,    Clarence,    I   feel  them  hatching.      The 

happy  moment  has  arrived. 
CLARENCE   (as  another  duckling  and  then  another 

appears  from  the  coopy  in  a  savage  tone) 

Happy  moment! 

MARTHA 

They  are  all  hatching,  Clarence. 
CLARENCE  (terribly) 

Five  ducklings!    That  is  what  is  hatching! 
MARTHA  (looking  out  for  the  first  time  and  seeing 

them) 

Dear  me! 

CLARENCE 

Dear  me!    Is  that  all  you  have  to  say,  faithless 
wife?     Is  that  all — in  the  face  of  five  ducks? 
Go,  leave  my  coop  forever!    Never  let  me  see 
18 


SCRAMBLED  EGGS 


your   beak   again,   and   take  your  web-footed 
brats  with  you. 
MARTHA  (coming  out  of  the  coop) 

Oh,  but  I  am  innocent.  I  swear  to  you,  Clarence. 
I  really  don't  know  how  it  happened. 

CLARENCE 

Ha!  do  you  expect  me  to  believe  that,  you 
sparrow  ? 

MARTHA 

Revile  me,  peck  me,  stop  loving  me  if  you  will, 
but  oh,  do  not  drive  me  away  from  my  nest. 

CLARENCE 

Go!  You  are  not  fit  to  grace  the  nest  of  an 
honorable  rooster.  (He  flaps  his  wings  and 
drives  her  out.)  Go!  (She  takes  a  step  and 
stops.)  Go!  (This  is  repeated  until  she  leaves, 
followed  by  the  five  ducklings.  Then  Clarence 
takes  a  flint  out  of  his  pocket  and  sharpens  his 
spurs.)  And  now  for  that  villain  of  a  drake ! 

(Enter  Eustace  right.) 

EUSTACE  (anxiously) 

Can  you  tell  me  where  the  communal  incu 
bator  is? 

CLARENCE 

Are  you  referring  to  my  wife? 
EUSTACE  (not  hearing  and  peering  around  among 
the  burdock  leaves) 
We've  searched  for  it  everywhere. 

CLARENCE 

Come  out  of  those  burdock  leaves,  you  waddling 
hypocrite.  You  sleek  betrayer!  You  whited 
sepulchre! 


SCRAMBLED  EGGS 


EUSTACE 

Why,  why,  what  do  you  mean  ? 
CLARENCE  (brandishing  his  claws) 

Leering    libertine,    eh!      You    single-standard 

seducer! 
EUSTACE  (who  has  given  a  little  jump  of  surprise, 

then  horror,  and  finally  anger,  as  the  different 

epithets  are  hurled  at  him) 

Shut  your  bill,  you  liar! 

(He  throws  of  his  silk  hat  and  rushes  at  Clarence, 
just  as  Gertrude  from  the  right,  rushes  up  in  back 
of  Clarence  and  honks  in  his  ear,  so  that  he 
swings  completely  around  in  his  surprise.) 

GERTRUDE 

Stop,  you  big  boob! 
CLARENCE  (stopping  dead) 
Boob? 

GERTRUDE 

Certainly.    Martha  never  laid  those  eggs.    She 
only  hatched  them. 
CLARENCE  (staggered) 
Hatched  them? 

GERTRUDE 

She  only  sat  on  them.  She  would  sit  on  any 
thing.  She  was  only  their  hot  nurse.  Stand 
back,  Eustace.  Here  comes  Martha  now! 
I'll  prove  it.  I'll  make  her  sit  on  that  stone 
there. 

(Enter  Martha  weeping,  followed  by  the  five 
toddling  ducklings  in  single  file.) 

CLARENCE 

Shameless  creature  with  her  trail  of  guilt. 

20 


SCRAMBLED  EGGS 


GERTRUDE  (as  Martha  passes  the  rock,  pleasantly) 
Pardon  me,  Martha,  but  you  just  dropped  an 

egg- 

MARTHA  (wiping  her  eyes,  flustered  but  grateful} 
Oh,  did  I?    Thank  you  for  telling  me.     I  am 
so  bewildered  that  I  hardly  know  what  I  am 
doing.    Ah,  the  poor  little  thing  is  all  cold. 

GERTRUDE  (triumphantly) 
You  see? 

CLARENCE 

Well,  I'll  be  fricasseed! 

(At  this  moment  all  the  inhabitants  of  the  barn 
yard  begin  to  enter  in  little  couples,  ignoring 
Clarence  and  bowing  to  Eustace,  who  has  gone 
after  his  silk  hat,  and  is  polishing  his  halo, 
preparatory  to  putting  it  on.) 

FIRST   GUEST 

Are  we  a  little  early? 

SECOND   GUEST 

I  understood  it  was  to  be  at  sunset. 
(They  peer  at  the  sign.) 

CLARENCE 

Get  up  off  that  stone,  Martha.  Don't  make 
yourself  any  more  ridiculous  than  you  are 
already. 

MARTHA 

Stone  ?    (She  looks  at  the  stone  in  intense  surprise.) 

CLARENCE 

Rock! 

MARTHA 

But  what  shall  I  do?    Where  shall  I  go? 
21 


SCRAMBLED  EGGS 


CLARENCE 

Go?    Go  any  place  out  of  sight,  into  your  coop. 
MARTHA  (blissfully) 

Oh,  may  I  ?    (She  goes  into  her  coop.} 

(More  guests  are  arriving  now  for  the  meeting 
of  the  Better  Barnyard  Association.) 

THIRD    GUEST 

Such  a  lovely  bird. 

FOURTH    GUEST 

I  love  to  hear  him  quack. 

CLARENCE  (who  has  finally  succeeded  in  sweeping 
all  the  five  ducklings  out  of  sight ',  aside) 
Foiled,  but  not  defeated.    I'll  get  that  damned 
drake  yet.    (He  goes  out.) 

OLD   GANDER 

Let's  go  over  here  out  of  this  gang  of  hen  folks. 

TURKEY 

Have  a  chew  of  spearweed. 

GANDER 

Thanks.    Say,  I  heard  a  good  one  the  other  day 
—There  was  a  young  pullet  and  she  had  never 
laid  an  egg — 

(The  rest  is  lost  in  the  shuffle  of  the  crowd  as  they 
settle  in  their  places.  Four  pigeons  bring  in  an 
old  feed  box  for  a  rostrum  for  Eustace  and  place  a 
battered  tin  pail  which  he  drinks  from  and  polishes 
his  glasses.  Two  chickens  fight  with  each  other 
over  a  long  rubber,  pulling  it  until  it  snaps  in  the 
face  of  one,  and  until  Gertrude  finally  silences 
everyone  in  their  places.  Evening  is  falling.) 

EUSTACE  (taking  a  drink  from  the  pail,  clearing  his 
throat,  settling  his  halo,  and  throwing  out  his 
chest) 

22 


SCRAMBLED  EGGS 


Denizens  of  the  barnyard,  members  of  the 
Purity  for  Poultry  movement,  now  that  we 
have  abolished  capital  punishment  for  obesity, 
we  come  to  the  matter  of  the  single  standard. 
Ah,  my  fellow  denizens!  Ah,  my  dear  fellow 
denizens!  Only  today  a  most  lamentable  case — 

TREMENDOUS    VOICE    OFF    STAGE 

Here  chick,  chick,  chick,  chick,  chick!  Here, 
chick,  chick,  chick! 

(There  is  a  great  stir  in  the  assemblage.  One  or 
two  hens  leave.  Everyone  looks  nervous.) 

OLD  GANDER  (fitting  on  an  ear  trumpet} 

What's  the  disturbance?  What  are  they  going 
for? 

YOUNG    CHICK 

Didn't  you  hear  it,  Uncle?    Supper  call. 

OLD   GANDER 

Bless  my  soul !  (He  rushes  of  faster  than  anyone 
else.) 

EUSTACE  (louder  than  before) 
Fellow  denizens — 

TREMENDOUS    VOICE    OFF    STAGE 

Here,  chick,  etc. 

(Whole  assemblage  rushes  out,  overturning  water- 
trough  and  rostrum.) 

EUSTACE  (sadly) 

Thinking  only  of  their  craws!  Their  crops  in 
the  dust! 

GERTRUDE 

Well,  aren't  you  coming? 

EUSTACE 

I,  with  my  mission?    Never! 
23 


SCRAMBLED   EGGS 


(Gertrude  goes  out  in  disgust.  Eustace,  alone 
on  the  stagey  after  looking  around  to  see  if  he  is 
observed,  moves  the  box  and  suddenly  seizes  the 
head  of  a  long  red  worm,  which  he  pulls  from  the 
ground  until  it  is  nine  or  ten  feet  long,  whereupon 
it  snaps  from  his  mouth  back  into  its  hole  again, 
and  although  he  rushes  to  the  spot  it  has  vanished.) 

EUSTACE  (dolefully) 

Vanity  of  Vanities.  The  good-to-eat  die  young. 
The  paths  of  glory  lead  but  to  the  gravy! 

(Clarence  comes  in  stealthily  from  left  and  sees 
Eustace  alone  with  his  head  sunk  on  his  chest.) 

CLARENCE 

Sst!    Sst! 

(He  beckons  to  someone  off  stage,  whereupon  a 
young  white  duck  enters — Phyllis.) 

CLARENCE  (aside) 

The  only  duck  in  the  barnyard,  eh!    We'll  see 

what  an  extra  one  will  do. 
PHYLLIS  (turning  to  Clarence  after  a  long  look  at 

Eustace) 

That? 

CLARENCE 

That's  him.    Old  angel  wings.     Leader  of  the 
Purity  for  Poultry  movement. 
PHYLLIS 
Well,  the  prigger  they  are  the  harder  they  fall. 

(She  makes  good  use  of  her  vanity  case  for  a 
moment,  and  then  begins  to  vamp  Eustace  while 
Clarence  takes  up  his  place  behind  burdocks  at 
left.) 

24 


SCRAMBLED   EGGS 


EUSTACE 

As  I  live,  a  new  duck  in  the  barnyard!  A 
golden  webbed  goddess.  Can  I  believe  my 
eyes?  How  she  moves  like  a  queenly  galleon! 
What  a  snowy  whiteness!  Her  paddling  feet 
scarce  seem  to  leave  the  ground. 

CLARENCE 

Oh,  boy! 

EUSTACE 

Who  are  you,  fair  stranger?     (He  takes  of  his 
halo  casually  as  she  looks  down.) 
PHYLLIS 
I  am  Phyllis. 

EUSTACE 

What  a  beautiful  name! 
PHYLLIS 

I  thought  it  was  when  I  took  it. 
EUSTACE  (aside) 

There  is  a  soft  rasp  in  her  voice  that  thrills  me 

to   the  gizzard.     (He  stuffs  the  halo  into  his 

pocket.)    Where  did  you  come  from  ? 
PHYLLIS  (sighing) 

I  came  from  a  far  distant  barnyard. 
CLARENCE  (from  hiding) 

Don't  tell  him  I  imported  you. 
PHYLLIS 

I  was  kidnapped. 

EUSTACE 

Kidnapped?  But  was  there  no  one  to  defend 
you? 

PHYLLIS  (in  tears) 
No  one. 

EUSTACE 

There,  little  one,  don't  cry,  don't  cry. 

25 


SCRAMBLED   EGGS 


CLARENCE  (disgusted,  aside) 
The  great  big  simp. 

PHYLLIS 

I  was  subjected  to  the  most  cruel  indignities. 
I,  who  had  always  been  treated  with  particular 
care!  And  regaled  with  special  dishes — of 
mush. 

EUSTACE 
Oh,  if  only  I  had  been  there! 

PHYLLIS 

You're  very  comforting!  I  was  lonely  and 
homesick,  but  your  sympathy  makes  me  forget 
everything.  Now,  I  am  not  even  sorry. 

EUSTACE  (placing  his  wing  about  her) 
Do  you  really  mean  it? 

PHYLLIS 

Oh,  in  that  other  barnyard  there  were  no  other 
drakes  as  high-minded  and  chivalrous  as  you. 

EUSTACE 

But  perhaps  I  am  not  what  you  think  I  am. 

PHYLLIS 

Why,  I  have  heard  you  spoken  of  as  a  great 
leader — almost  as  a  great  prophet. 

EUSTACE 

True,  and  I  should  fly  from  the  fascination  of 
you,  but  I  cannot!  You  seem  to  hold  me  with 
a  magic  spell.  Love!  Tempestuous,  conven 
tion-defying  love  is  sweeping  me  off  my  webs. 

(He  tears  down  the  Better  Barnyard  sign  in  the 
ecstasy  of  his  emotion.} 

CLARENCE 

I  didn't  know  the  old  bird  had  it  in  him. 
26 


SCRAMBLED   EGGS 


PHYLLIS  (as  he  comes  back  to  embrace  her) 

Oh,  you  must  not. 
EUSTACE 

Oh,  those  wax  cherry  lips  of  yours.    Phyllis! 

(They  embrace.} 

PHYLLIS 

Eustace ! 

(Again  they  embrace.} 

CLARENCE 

I  seem  to  be  missing  something. 

EUSTACE 

But  we  cannot  linger  here.    We  must  fly. 

PHYLLIS 
We  shall  be  exiles  together,  dear. 

EUSTACE 

Ah,  my  duckie!  We  shall  paddle  out  on  the 
pond  of  love,  side-bone  by  side-bone.  We'll 
seek  out  some  friendly  wild,  where  we  may  build 
our  nest,  far  from  the  madding  cackle. 

PHYLLIS 
In  a  land  of  milkweed  and  honeysuckle. 

(She  takes  his  watch.} 

EUSTACE 

My  nightingale,  my  dove! 
PHYLLIS 

My  kingbird. 

CLARENCE 

My  fathead! 

EUSTACE 

A  nook  of  rushes  underneath  the  bough, 

A  bug  or  twain,  or  toothsome  frog,  and  thou 

27 


SCRAMBLED  EGGS 


Beside  me  in  the  wilderness 

O,  Wilderness  were  Paradise  enow! 
CLARENCE  (rushing  out  from  the  burdock  leaves  and 

crowing) 

Ur — er — er — er 
EUSTACE  (in  dismay) 

Discovered.    We  must  fly! 
CLARENCE  (driving  in  the  five  ducklings  from  the 

nest) 

Too  late,  you  coop-wrecker! 
PHYLLIS 

What  are  these? 

CLARENCE 

His    children.      Ask    Dad — he    knows!      (To 

Eustace)  My  Buzzard! 
PHYLLIS  (staggering  back) 

Your  children ! 
EUSTACE 

It's  a  lie!    I  never  saw  them  before! 

(He  turns  to  fly  in  the  other  direction ,  but  collides 
with  Gertrude.) 

CLARENCE 

Did  you  ever  see  her  before? 
EUSTACE 

Great  Corngiver!  My  wife! 
PHYLLIS 

Your  wife! 

GERTRUDE 

So  this  is  your  high  mission ! 
(Barnyard  gathers.    Ad  lib  gossip.) 

PHYLLIS  (tauntingly) 
He  even  denies  your  children! 
28 


SCRAMBLED  EGGS 


GERTRUDE 

My  children?  What!  (She  looks  at  the  duck 
lings.)  They  are  found!  My  lost  eggs!  Oh 

J°Y! 
EUSTACE  (dismally) 

Say  what  you  will.    I  go  to  become  a  hermit — 

GERTRUDE 

Well,  I  guess  not!  You'll  stay  here  and  look 
after  the  ducklings! 

(She  leads  him  by  the  ear  toward  the  burdock  nesty 
while  Clarence,  whose  eye  has  been  caught  by  a 
brand  new  chicken,  goes  over  to  his  coop  and  pulls 
down  the  shade?) 

CLARENCE 

As  every  good  drake  should!  (He  puts  his 
wing  around  the  new  chicken.)  It  never  pays 
to  ruffle  the  only  rooster  in  the  barnyard. 

CURTAIN 


29 


Stewart  Kidd  Plays 

MASTERPIECES 

OF  MODERN  SPANISH 

DRAMA 

EDITED,  WITH  A  PREFACE.  BY 

BARRETT  H.   CLARK 

"A  volume  that  will  prove  of  unusual  interest  to  lovers  of  the 
theatre."— Brooklyn  Daily  Eagle. 

The  collection  of  plays  in  this  volume  has  a  distinct  value, 
representing,  as  it  does,  three  varied  aspects  of  the  dramatic 
genius  of  Spain — Echegaray,  Gald6s  and  Gu.imera,  the  Catalon- 
ian  Nationalist. 

Two  of  the  plays,  the  "Duchess  of  San  Quentin"and"Daniela," 
have  never  before  been  translated. 

Mr.  Clark,  the  editor,  who  is  well-known  to  all  lovers  and 
students  of  the  drama,  gives,  in  his  prefaces,  a  concise  and  illumi 
nating  survey  of  the  drama  in  Spain,  both  old  and  new. 

Each  play  is  preceded  by  a  biographical  sketch  and  a  complete 
chronological  list  of  the  dramatist's  works. 

THE  GREAT  GALEOTO,  a  tragedy,  by  Jose  Echegaray, 
translated  by  Eleanor  Bontecou  (presented  to  the  American  public 
by  Wm.  Faversham,  under  the  title  "The  World  and  his  Wife") 

"an  instance  of  Echegaray's  melodramatic  and  essentially 

Spanish  genius." 

DANIELA,  a  tragic  drama,  by  Angel  Guimera,  translated  by 
John  Garrett  Underhill.  "Daniela  comes  to  us  with  all  the  force 
of  a  new  sensation,  ...  .by  virtue  of  the  profound  and  tragic 
poetry  of  its  theme.  (It)  is  of  the  great  order." — The  Dial. 

THE  DUCHESS  OF  SAN  OUENTIN.  a  comedy,  by 
Benito  Perez-Gald6s,  translated  by  Philip  M.  Hayden.  "Gald6s 
has  done  a  rare  bit  of  character  portrayal."— Cleveland  Plain 
Dealer. 

"All  the  plays  are  essentially  racial  and  as  such  will  deeply 
interest  the  student  of  European  Drama." — Argonaut. 

IIMO,  SILK  CLOTH,  NET  $z.yo 


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Stewart  Kidd  Dramatic  Anthologies 

European  Theories  of  the  Drama 

By  BARRETT  H.  CLARK 

An  Anthology  of  Dramatic  TTieary  and  Criticism  from  Aristotle  to  the  present  day 
in  a  series  of  selected  texts,  with.  Commentaries,  Biographies  and  Bibliographies 

A  book  of  paramount  importance.  This  monumental 
anthology  assembles  for  the  first  time  the  epoch-making 
theories  and  criticisms  of  the  drama  from  the  beginnings  in 
Greece  to  the  present,  and  each  excerpt  is  chosen  with  refer 
ence  to  its  effect  on  subsequent  dramatic  writing.  The  texts 
alone  are  immensely  valuable,  and  the  comments  constitute  a 
history  of  dramatic  criticism. 

It  is  the  most  important  body  of  doctrine  on  the  drama  to 
be  obtained,  appeals  to  all  who  are  interested  in  the  theatre, 
and  is  indispensable  to  students. 

The  introduction  to  each  section  of  the  book  is  followed 
by  an  exhaustive  bibliography.  Each  writer  whose  work  is 
represented  is  made  the  subject  of  a  brief  biography.  The 
entire  volume  is  rendered  doubly  valuable  by  the  index,  which 
is  worked  out  in  great  detail. 

Contributors  to  the  Success  of  this  Volume: 

Aristotle  Moliere  Goethe 

Horace  Racine  Schlegel 

Donatus  Boileau  Hebbel 

Dante  Saint-Evremont       Wagner 

Danielle  Dryden  Freytag 

Minturno  Milton  Hugo 

Scaliger  Rymer  Dumas  fils 

Sebillet  Congreve  Sarcey 

De  la  Taille  Farquhar  Zola 

Cervantes  Addison  Brunetiere 

Lope  de  Vega  Johnson  Maeterlinck 

Tirso  de  Molina  Goldsmith  Coleridge 

Sidney  Goldoni  Lamb 

Jonson  Lessing  Hazlitt 

Ogier  Voltaire  Pinero 

Chapelain  Diderot  Jones 

Abbe  d'Aubignac  Beaumarcbais          Shaw 

Corneille  Schiller  Archer 

Large  8vo,  500  pages Net  $5.00 

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Stewart  Kidd  Plays 

THE  PROVINCETOWN  PLAYS 

Edit**  6y  GEORGE  CRAM  COOK  and  FRANK  SHAY 
With  a  foreword  by  HUTCHINS  HAPGOOD 

Containing  the  ten  best  plays  produced  by  the  Province- 
town  Players,  which  are: 

"SUPPRESSED  DESIRES",  George  Cram  Cook  and  Susan  Glaspell. 

"ARIA  DA  CAPO",  Edna  St.  Vincent  Millay. 

"COCAINE".  Pendleton  King. 

"NIGHT",  James  Oppenheim. 

"ENEMIES",  Hutchins  Hapgood  and  Neith  Boyce. 

"THE  ANGEL  INTRUDES",  Floyd  Dell. 

"BOUND  EAST  FOR  CARDIFF".  Eugene  O'Neill. 

"THE  WIDOWS  VEIL",  Alice  Rostetter. 

"STRING  OF  THE  SAMISEN",  Rita  Wellman. 

"NOT  SMART".  Wilbur  D.  Steele. 

Every  author,  with  one  exception,  has  a  book  or  more  to  his  credit. 
Several  are  at  the  top  of  their  profession. 

Rita  Wellman,  a  Saturday  Evening  Post  star,  has  had  two  or  three 
plays  on  Broadway,  and  has  a  new  novel,  "The  Wings  of  Desire." 

Cook  and  Glaspell  are  well  known — he  for  his  novels,  and  Miss 
Glaspell  for  novels  and  plays. 

Edna  Millay  is  one  of  America  s  best  poets.  Steele,  according  to 
O'Brien,  is  America's  best  short-story  writer. 

Oppenheim  has  over  a  dozen  novels,  books  of  poems,  and  essays  to 
his  credit. 

O'Neill  has  a  play  on  Broadway  now:    "The  Emperor  Jones." 

Hutch.  Hapgood  is  an  author  of  note.  A  record  of  the  work  of  the 
most  serious  and  important  of  all  the  new  theatre  movements  in 
America. 

New   York  Sun:    "Tense  and  vivid  little  dramas." 

Dallas  News:  "Uniform  in  excellence  of  workmanship,  varied  in  sub 
ject  ^natter^tne  volume  is  a  distinct  contribution  to  American  dra 
matic  art. 

i2mo.    Net,  $2.50 
Send  for  Complete  Dramatic  Catalogue 

STEWART  KIDD  COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS  CINCINNATI,  U.  S.  A. 


Plays  by  Mary  MacMillan 


•  For  Women's  Clubs,  Girls'  Schools,  etc.—lllnall^of 
them  will  be  found  a  rich  and  delicate  charm,  a  bountiful 
endowment  of  humor  and  wit,  a  penetrating  knowledge  of 
human  nature,  and  a  deft  touch  in  the  drawing  of  charac 
ter.  They  are  delicately  and  sympathetically  done  and 
their  literary  charm  is  undeniable," — Brooklyn  Daily 
Eagle. 

SHORT  PLAYS 

The  Shadowed  Star, — The  Ring. — The  Rose. — Luck. — 
Entr'  Act. — A  Woman's  a  Woman  for  A'  That. — A 
Fan  and  Two  Candlesticks:— A  Modern  Masque. — 
The  Futurists. — The  Gate  of  Wishes. 

$2.50. 


MORE  SHORT  PLAYS 

His  Second  Girl. — At  the  Church  Door. — Honey.— The 
Dress  Rehearsal  of  Hamlet. — The  Pioneers. — In  Men- 
delesia,  Part  I;  In  Mendelesia,  Part  II. — The  Dryad. 

$2. 50, 

THIRD  BOOK  OF  SHORT  PLAYS 

A  Weak-End. — In  Heaven. — Standing  Moving. — An 
Apocryphal  Episode. — The  Storm. — When  Two's  Not 
Company. — Peter  Donelly. 

.        $2.fO. 

A  FAN  AND  Two  CANDLESTICKS 

Published  separately  as  No.   3  of  the  Stewart  Kidd 
Little  Theatre  Plays. 

50  cents. 


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The  Dreamy  Kid Eugene  O'Neifl 

Forbidden  Fruit George  J.  Smith 

Jezebel   Dorothy  Stockbridge 

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